the average guy: baby, i love you so much
nigerian guys: my sweet tomato, my jollof rice, my amala and egusi soup, you don change my life
But a matter of choice is 80% more important, and it depends on in what situation
And it should go in this order: Honesty, independence, ambition and courage
Being honest with yourself you can acknowledge a fault but being aware of your good points as well, and your surroundings. Do not blind yourself in this honesty in desperation, whether that might be self pity or being self centered, acknowledge that everybody has their good and bad points as well and that we are all struggling and none of us can reach perfection, even whereas perfection is only an idea and that pros and cons in people are not but an opinion that vary from people. Acknowledge what is good for you, and bad for you, and take the view to the people you surround yourself with.. Are they good for you? That is a circumstance that matters. Independence is liking who you are, and what you like about yourself even though other people might have other opinions about you, and even though you might not like everything about yourself and don’t see yourself as perfect, you can still stand for yourself. Its not about being better than everybody else. Just being yourself.
For courage you need independence and ambition
Its not about being fearless. If you have no sense of fear whatsoever, you’re probably a psychopath in its true definition of lacking empathy or you just have nothing important to care so much for, which might mean you’re depressed.
Ambition is when you find something you care for and you want to stand for, if you lack ambition, maybe spend hours at home, trying to find a purpose for living or getting out of bed, there’s a core to the problem called “hope”. You lack hope. To the point where you give up and you become what you might describe yourself in your pity as “hopeless”, which you make yourself only on the occasion of where you have lost hope for yourself. Maybe you hope too much and in the end of your day your result has ripped your hope away. Either way, you need hope. You need to think to yourself before you get out of your bed that if you don’t get out of bed, and if you don’t do what you should, could or would, there is definitely not anything going to happen to change your point of view, you won’t find anything to make you find ambition and all you will do is to either wallow in self pity or escape your feelings, even though that means spending the whole day watching your favorite TV show.
If you haven’t found your ambition you should go look for it, and you just wont find it at home unless you find happiness and interest in making sketches or writing or anything of that related matter. You have to discover yourself and your ambition and that is not something everybody does in their pajamas at 5pm.
Don’t look for you ambition to show up and just go outside having the hope to discover something you enjoy, whether its sports or going to the comic book store and hanging out with the people you like.
The courage is only in the light of that moment when you decide to do something you might have feared, not being fearless but to have had the ambition to do what matters to you. Its about being bold, and it starts off with taking a step and don’t take everything too seriously. Its not about that you only live once, but that you only die once, and it will happen to all of us eventually and that should absolutely not cause fear of doing what you love and looking for what you love, because in your sixties you might look back and regret that you never even gave it a chance, or gave in just because it failed in one or few times, when you have had all this time to that day to have the chance to give it a try and you decide whether you want to wait until you realize that in your sixties trying to become a dancer or discovering new people or whatever it is you are looking for or you just take the step right now and give it a chance. Even though that may just mean getting out of your house. Be honest with yourself and think of ways you can achieve what you are looking for, if its friendship, you go talk to interesting people, ect.